It was Friday night when i got home from work. Danang, my husband was already in the living room with his eyes glued to his phone probably scrolling at his social media while vaping. I immidiately change my clothes and join him opened up my phone, checking out my instagram and there it was. A little red icon on the upper right of my phone saying that my old friend has a request to follow me. I private my Instagram account because my family start to make account on Instagram (you get it). But this old friend of mine is different. Its a she by the way and she was my best friend in a very long time a go.
I checked out her account and scrolled at her photos. She seems fine, she wears hijab now which probably good for her. She seems happy and well. But thats not the problem. I cut off our friendship probably 6 or 7 years a go because she made a mess that caused a huge fight between my sister and me.
i closed my phone, and turn on the TV to get my mind off of her. But then like any other best friend do, i talked to Danang about it.
Me: so there’s this best friend of mine. Was my best friend. She made a mess that caused a huge fight between my sister and me. I cut of our friendship but just then she requested to follow me on Instagram. She did try to add my Path account too, and im like what does she wants from me?…. Did i ever tell you about her before?
Danang: No, you never tell me about her
Me: Well, if you were me. If you had a best friend before and he did something bad to you, you cut off your relationship with him and then he add your social medias, what do you do?
Danang: i dont know. i never experience something like that before.
Me: Part of me doesnt want to do anything with her anymore, but some part of me feel like i should forgive her. But you know, when i think the time (we were together) i dont feel like i want to go back there again. reliving the moment again seems a no for me..
Me: you know its odd i never mentioned her to you. I feel like i metioned everyone to you…. She was a sad person back in college. I mean, her family wasn’t the happiest family, she didn’t have friends in her campus, she said that her college mates usually stare at her as if she was weird and thus made her withdraw herself from them, her boyfriend was a complete asshole that verbally and physically abused her. I was fine with that, i mean i don’t care who or how she was, we were best friend. I introduced her to my friends and my friends embraced her and so as time went by my friends was her friends, she was not alone anymore. Heck, she even befriended my sister. She told my sister things she didn’t told me and i was totally fine with that.
Until that time when my sister just turned to super religious and when Evil (it was literally my friend name) came to the boarding house, Dinda and Esty was there watching movies, and then i think we’re going to graduate soon and i’ve never tried beer before so why don’t you buy us one? and the he came with a large bottle of Guiness and then i taste two sips and then it was one of the grossest drink i ever tasted and the he drink some and left.
Me: And then i told her casually couple of days later, and then not long after that my sister called me and scorned me like hell because of that, i mean what the actual fuck, right??. And the thing is, i only found out that she was the one who actually said it to my sister after i graduated. And so i message her on Facebook to never contact me again and she didn’t even say that she was sorry. So why would i (have to forgive her)??
That’s two fucking sips of beer! I mean come on man, who would’ve even drunk after drinking one glass of beer?
Danang: no one
Me: I feel sorry for her. I really do. She was a sad person and i just wanted to help. I thought she was a kind person, or she is a kind person. You know, she said to me once that im a lucky person. I have a loving sister and bunch of friends that actually cared for each other, she didn’t. Well, she was probably jealous of my life, but im fine with that. I knew it, and im fine. My friends is already her friends and my sister is already her friend too, and i don’t mind with that. Don’t mind it at all. In fact, when she had typhus, you know who brought her to he hospital? Evil. Yeah, i made him took her when she was shivering that night.
Danang: *listening and staring at the wall*
Me: you know why its odd i never mentioned her to you.. It maybe because she never really mean that much. We were best friend but she’s not like Ceynita. I actually learn something from Ceynita. I learn how to be happy, grateful and positive in this shitty world but not her, i learned nothing from her. I cared for her, i helped her as best as i could. I told her many times that she should dumped her boyfriend but then she married him instead.
Danang: *listening and staring at the wall*
Me: are you listening to me or just staring at a fly?
Danang: no, im listening to you. Its just i never have any experience like that before.
Danang: but, if i were you. I think i would accept her friend request. But not to relive the memories in hoping that someday we will be best friend again. Just because that we knew each other.
We stay silenced. After a while, we began talking about mundane things again whilst eating dinner.
It was 22:00 o’clock. The work and our conversation makes me feel tired even more. I brushed my teeth, wash my face and went to the bedroom carrying my phone.
I lay my head, open up my phone, scrolling at my Twitter news feed blankly. Thinking about her, about us. It was in the past. I always believe not everyone meant to be together forever, some people just grow apart. She seems okay now. My friend said that she finally divorced her husband. And from her Instagram caption, it looks like she’s in love with someone, she is fine. And im not exactly a person who likes to dwell in the past. What’s done is done. I’ve made up my mind years a go, why change now?.
And no, i don’t want anymore drama.
I opened up my Instagram account. Find her follow request, and tap ‘X’.